


If You Go Looking for Trouble, You're Sure to Find It

by Scarlette890



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blank Period, Boys Kissing, Classy Neji, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Groping, Hinakiba - Freeform, Homosexuality, Lazy Shikamaru, Light Swearing, M/M, My google search History:How to tag, NaruSasu - Freeform, No angst because I'm already depressed enough, No beta we die like the men Kirishima would want us to be, Saino - Freeform, Sakura can die alone for all I care, Sasuke doesn't get paid enough for this crap, Screw Canon my ship must sail, Seriously what is Gaara's last name, ShikaNeji - Freeform, Spying on friends, Youthfulness is probably mentioned, finding out, hinata is precious, naruto is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24621979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlette890/pseuds/Scarlette890
Summary: Five times Shikamaru and Neji were acting suspicious, and the one time they finally told everyone why
Relationships: Gaara/Rock Lee, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Hyuuga Hinata/Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Neji/Nara Shikamaru, Sai/Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 25
Kudos: 194





	1. Slow Grind

Ino Yamanaka was not having the best day ever.

Icy wind lashed her blonde ponytail as she moved along, causing her to tighten her arms around her body as she moved through Konoha’s empty, rain-washed streets. The cold clawed at her exposed skin, and she regretted for perhaps the tenth time her choice of clothing.

Then again, the storm had practically mauled her with exactly how sudden it was. And when it hit the second she got back from the hospital? Fantastic. Bloody… fantastic.

The assignment itself was still a blurry mess of mangled thoughts in her mind. The reminder sat heavily on her shoulders, digging itself into her brain, it’s cold fingers lancing across her heart.

It had been a seduction mission, as many kunoichi had to undertake. Most of the inhabitants of Konoha (and by most, she meant every) thought she enjoyed the missions that forced her to look at bruised, dirty skin and filthy, kiss-bitten skin after every endeavor, even though she was already in a very dedicated relationship. 

A shudder racked her body, though it had nothing to do with the pounding rain. Ino could still feel the nasty old man’s sticky fingers roaming her form, slipping below the hem of her skirt. She remembered the yellow of his eyes, the memory like a sliver of wood under her skin.

On top of that, the fight with Sai was still chafing against her mind. He had asked her again just why she volunteered for the seduction missions, which had snared an angry prick of hurt inside of her.

“Because it’s the only thing I’m good at!” she’d snapped. His dark eyes had saddened, and immediately he’d begun to list all the things he loved about her, his tone gentle and soft. Her defensive nature had flared, and she’d told him with bitter words and biting intentions that he was an overly possessive asshole, and stormed out the door with a flick of blonde hair and screeching hinges.

As a fresh wave of water poured down from above, she felt a gentle hand grab onto her own, and she turned to see a warm smile.

“Hello, Beautiful,” Sai said softly, his innocent kindness spilling into his facial expression. “Welcome back.” She practically froze, the metaphorical cold lancing an ice encrusted spear through her chest. Sai, ever forgetful of social cues, didn't seem to notice.

Reaching into her pocket, he pulled out the house key and pushed it into the lock with a soft click, twisting it before opening the door. He smiled again. “After you.”

“I’m sor—”

“Let’s talk inside, okay? It’s pouring, and you’re all wet.”

Ino nodded, the burning behind her eyes intensifying as she and Sai walked into the front room. “Go shower, Beautiful, okay? When you’re all dry, we can talk.” She nodded again, gnawing on her lower lip as she moved to the shower.

The hot spray ran down her body in rivulets, soothing the tension that had tightened in her muscles over the day. She felt shadows of the old man’s hands melt off her as the water massaged her skin, and slowly but surely his image faded from her mind, now her only thoughts what she could do to apologize to Sai.

He was leaning against the doorframe when she finally stepped out. He held up a soft white towel, gesturing for her to come stand with him.

Her sopping hair was thick and heavy against her back as he pulled a towel over her figure, shielding the bruising skin and shameful marks on her body. He laid gentle kisses on each of the fresh teeth-indentions on her neck as he gently skimmed his fingertips over the painful, reddening imperfections on her hips and waist.

“Beautiful,” the artist whispered into the junction of her neck and shoulder. “You’re so beautiful to me. I’m so lucky. I love you.”

A crystalline tear skimmed down Ino’s flushed cheek, her lip trembling. But she refused to let herself cry.

Turning in his grip, the blonde pressed her forehead into his shoulder, warmth rising in her as Sai wrapped her up in his arms. “I love you too,” she choked. “I’m sorry. I know you were just trying…”

“I know,” he murmured into her hair. “I know you pretty well, you know. You were under stress, and people talk about you, but it’s okay. I don’t exactly understand… why you prefer, um, those kind of missions, but—”

“Because they’re the only ones I’m good at,” she answered bitterly. “All I have to do is flutter my eyelashes and I get the info we need. Then the other guy with me kills whoever I’m seducing. In and out.”

Sai sighed, his breath ruffling her hair with the soft exhale. “What about your mind transfer jutsu?” he asked gently. “You’re wonderful with that.”

“It’s not foolproof, babe,” she answered quietly. Nuzzling her face further into his shoulder, she tried to block out the memories of her first chuunin exams with a sharp clench of her teeth. “Sakura… broke out of it. I’m sure Sasuke could, so could you and Tsunade and—”

A soft press of lips on her temple cut her off. “You’re wonderful,” he murmured. “And as beautiful as you are, and as well as I know you can do it, seduction missions are not your only strength.” He pulled away, gently hooking a finger beneath her chin and lifting it so she was forced to look at him. Her shame burned hot in her stomach.

His cinder eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Your strengths make you, you. My Ino. And I love you.” He paused, humming a little. “I am not going to tell you to stop taking missions,” he said. “But if the issue is you believing you cannot do anything else, then I will tell you the truth of your abilities every day.”

A sob jolted in her chest as she crashed herself back into his arms. “I love you,” she wept into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you and you’re right but I can’t make myself not think that because Sakura can do everything I can do and more and I just… I just…”

Sai’s arms tightened assuredly, as she finally sobbed out, “I’m just a slut.”

The realization of the truth in that statement slammed into her chest, more tears spilling past her lash-line and racing down her face. She really hadn’t been anything more, only good for shopping and seducing people until they bent to her will. Her fighting style was mediocre because of how much she had fought to be liked as a genin, so she’d never paid as much attention to Asuma. Her mother had told her a beautiful women should make use of her appearance and help Konoha. So she had. And now she regretted just how stupid she had been when she chose her tight, low-cut clothing that hung off her hips and accentuated her breasts. How she’d gossiped as often as possible just to get information off everyone, even her friends. Damn, she had been an idiot.

However, Sai seemed to think the exact opposite.

“No you are not,” he growled, voice lower than it’s usual pitch. His hands were heavy against her back as he gripped her more firmly. “What can I say to make you understand that you are my beautiful, smart, outspoken, lovely Ino?”

She paused. “Let me make it up to you,” she finally murmured, her voice thick with guilt and throat wet with tears. “I can do anything. I will do anything. Name it.”

Sai sighed softly against her head, but she guessed he decided that was the only way she wasn’t going to think like she had been thinking, because he finally said, “Okay. Let me think of something.”

That night, as they lay tucked under the covers and smothered in warmth and humid, sticky air, he seemed to realize what he wanted her to do.

“I have been working on a new drawing,” he whispered into the darkness. “It’s of a tree, and yes, do not laugh, Ino, I’m trying to be serious here. I would like samples of some leaves to draw. Will you please go to the Nara forest and get some specimens? You know Shikamaru much better than me.”

Her heart leaping at the chance to make everything better, Ino immediately agreed. “I’d love to,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you, Beautiful. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

“Thanks again, Nara-san!” she chimed, beaming at him.

Warm, soft summer breeze skimmed lightly over her skin as the Yamanaka girl waved cheerfully at Nara Shikaku, permission to enter his forest granted.

Snickering, Shikaku tossed a lazy wave over his shoulder and moved back towards his house. At least this kid had /asked/ to go in. He was sick of dragging brats who hadn’t gotten his approval to enter out of his forest.

With a new skip in her previously-dragging steps, Ino swatted aside the barrage of undergrowth and ducked into the woods.

She plopped her hands on her hips, her lips pulling up slightly at the corners.

As a florist, Ino could recognize landscaping genius and professional growth when she saw it, and this forest was an absolute masterpiece.

The trees were laden with fluffy tufts of bright green, lush leaves, soft, curly Spanish moss plentiful on their branches. The bushes were speckled with bright clusters of berries of all colors, probably poisonous, but pretty anyway. The forest floor was thick with sweet-smelling, stiff pine needles that poked little children’s bare feet.

Ino inhaled appreciatively, the scent of pinecones and sweet air filling her senses. She swept her gaze around the forest again, before getting to work.

The leaves were rough against her knees while she knelt on the floor, a slight ache pulsing in her lower back from bending over for as long as she had been. But her satchel was plump with all the perfect vegetation she had found, her make-up gift to Sai prepared for him to see when she got home.

/Great, time to get home and then… oh, shit./

A sickening wave of reality washed over her as she remembered that she had, in no way, tracked the direction she was going when she had been looking for leaves. She hadn’t made any landmarks either, so in other words, she was helplessly lost in the Nara forest.

“Wonderful,” she muttered quietly. “Fantastic. I’ll be wondering around in this stupid forest ‘till nighttime, and it’ll be dark before anyone realizes I’m either dead or lost.”  
Her bitter thoughts would have clutched her brain and acted as a barrage to all optimism if she hadn’t felt the chakra.

It was a strange, unfamiliar wave of it when she sensed it. She felt like she recognized it, maybe a bit, but it was a weird, twisted mangle of senses when she distinguished what it was.

So, because Ino wasn’t the smartest girl, despite Sai’s insistence, she followed it. And damn, was she glad she had.

Shikamaru Nara was reclined lazily against the thick trunk of a tree, which normally would have been an occurrence every ninja from Konoha had seen at least once in their lives. He was usually lounging around lazily, cinder eyes trained on drifting fluffy clouds while plumes of cigarette smoke puffed from his lips.

Therefore, she certainly wasn’t expecting what she found.

/Oh DAMN/

Neji Hyuuga was sitting atop his lap, his legs folded on either side of Shikamaru’s hips, arms wrapped languidly around the Nara’s neck. One of Shikamaru’s hands was gently massaging the nape of his neck, the other cupping the muscle of his backside.

Their lips worked against each other’s with practiced precision, as if they’d done this many times before. Neji’s thick black hair hung in a mocha spill down his back as Shikamaru pressed further into him, giving the supple flesh of his ass a firm squeeze, causing the Hyuuga to gasp into his mouth.

Shikamaru snickered against his lips, sounding so much like his father Ino could hardly believe it.

The Yamanaka sucked in a fluttering gasp as she leaned hard against the tree she had ducked behind, a hand pressing into her chest. /Okay, okay. Neji and Shika are making out. Process, process. Wait, what the hell am I processing!?/

When she peeked behind the trunk of her sacred tree again, she pursed her lips and arched a brow.

Neji had slowly begun to grind his hips into Shikamaru's, creating friction that both of them were obviously enjoying, judging by the noises that slipped past their mouths. Or at least that slipped past the Nara's, Hyuuga seemed keen on being as quiet as possible as Shikamaru reached between them to grasp their—

Okay, and that was enough of that.

A smirk slowly spread across Ino's features. She had to tell Chouji. And Asuma. And probably Rock Lee.

Oh yeah, that would get the news out.


	2. Bit of a Handful

Chouji could feel Asuma’s skeptical eyes on him as he shoveled another meat-heavy chopstick into his waiting mouth. His sensei had a dark eyebrow arched, not that the Akimichi cared much. Leaning back in his chair, a low groan fell from his lips, the savory-sweet flavors entwining in his mouth and creating the perfect mixture of whatever he was eating. (He hadn’t really checked, he’d just handed the menu back and said ‘Yes, please’)

“Well, Chouji, that’s a lot of food,” Asuma mentioned casually, placing his chopsticks across the top of his bowl. “You’ve eaten enough for three or four people, wouldn’t want you to feel sick, you know?” The cigarette bobbed in his mouth, soft wisps of smoke swirling softly in the air.

“This is nothing,” Chouji grunted around a bowl of rice, which he was vigorously shoveling into his mouth. “It tastes good, I don’t really care if I’m sick.”

“I see. What about the animal that had to die so you could eat that?” his sensei teased. Leaning back against the seat, he draped an arm across his chair and crossed his legs.

“Some of them may die,” the Akimichi admitted, grief tinging his voice. “But that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” Then, he proceeded to show his sadness by making use of their sacrifice, shoving his heavy chopsticks back into his mouth.

“Choujiiiiii! Asuma senseiiiiiiii!”

Asuma looked up sharply, a slow smile spreading across his face when he saw Ino racing towards them, her blond ponytail flaring behind her in a golden torrent. The glow of her eyes practically /screamed/ that she had just snatched the juiciest tidbit of gossip. Probably from Sakura.

Ino skidded to a stop in front of them, panting lightly from her run. Sweat beaded on her brow, despite the fact that the girl usually said she, ‘Never perspired.’

“Guess… what?” she huffed, her hand pressed against her stomach from a side cramp that had pricked her when she was running. Asuma snickered. “What, Ino?”

“Shikamaru’smakingoutwithNeji!”

Silence. The Sarutobi and the Akimichi glanced at each other, confusion fogging the air between them. "Um..."

“What?” Chouji questioned after a short pause, his head tilting to the side. “I don’t think I heard you right, I could’ve sworn you just said—”

“Shikamaru. Is. Making out. With. Neji.”

“/What?!/” The exclamation earned them a nasty look from the waitress and a few confused stares from other customers, but Ino bulldozed on. “I know! That Hyuuga prodigy, or whatever he is, is sitting on Shikamaru /Nara/’s lap with a tongue down his throat!”

Silence drifted over both males as they tried to process the information. Shikamaru had only showed even slight interest in one person, but Temari lived in Suna, and the Nara had decided the walk wasn't worth it. And now here he was, making out with Hyuugas in the woods.

/Okay. Yeah, this is fine. I didn’t know Shikamaru was into all that hair…/

“How do you know they weren’t just fighting?” asked Asuma, ever the rational one. "Maybe Neji pinned him." Ino, however, had probably predicted that.

“Because Shika’s hand was on his ass.”

Well now, that certainly changed things up. “I’ll be back later, I gotta go tell Rock Lee!” Ino cheered, flicking her hair over her shoulder and preparing to race off.

Asuma pursed his lips, eyebrows raised. /You learn something new every day, I guess.../

Chouji blinked hard.

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

Chouji had to admit, he was a little hurt. He and Shikamaru had always told each other everything, and from the moment they had become friends, no secret had been too deep. Judgement was never something the two of them had enjoyed bestowing upon anyone, so there hadn't been anything to hide.

So when he learned, from /Ino/ of all people, that Shikamaru had a thing for Neji Hyuuga, he couldn't help but worry if he had done something wrong, since the shadow-nin hadn't told him anything about this... recent developement. Maybe his friend was mad at him? Chouji /had/ eaten the last slab of meat the other night when they went out as team 10, but everyone knew that Chouji /always/ got the last piece.

Shikamaru had never minded anything like that before...

But now that Chouji was aware of the situation, maybe his friend /was/ acting a little strange. Nothing big at all, hardly noticable, but it was there. He'd been showing up pretty late to most meetings, which was awfully peculiar for him. Shikamaru hated being late with a burning passion, not that anyone understood why. And when he finally did arrive to wherever he was supposed to be, his clothes were ruffled, hair messy and thrown up carelessly, and Chouji could have sworn he saw a dark red mark on his neck once.

Courtesy of Neji, probably...

He felt like he needed to talk to Shikamaru now, and he knew exactly where he was. The other day, his friend had informed he had to go to some strategist meeting with a bunch of Jonin that were to be sent on an S ranked mission. He was supposed to come up with a few plans for them to get the desired scrolls, and Shikamaru was /not/ looking forward to it.

"Troublesome," he had grunted when he'd received the news of the meeting. He, Asuma, and Chouji had been sitting on the back of an old splintery porch, the sun cresting the horizon and spilling slowly down to the ground. Ino had been inside, pouring frosty glasses of lemonade to quell the thirst the sweltering day had brought.

"Come on, Shikamaru," Asuma had said, his baritone voice relaxed and sleepy. "You get closer to taking over for your dad every single time you get one of these summons." The shadow-nin had rolled his eyes with a flash of white and charcoal irises. "I'm not interested, Asuma," he'd drawled. "I'm quite happy with my very calm, very lazy schedule."

"Your schedule has nothing on it!" Ino argued as she hopped back onto the porch, a tray balanced precariously in her grip, the screen door slapping shut behind her. Sliding languidly into the empty seat next to Asuma, she perched her chin on her fingers and grinned deviously. "Maybe if you got a girlfriend that would be a little /different/."

Shikamaru had smirked, his upper lip glossed with the lemonade he gulped down. "Not interested in getting a girlfriend."

Okay, yeah, that made a lot more sense now.

So now Chouji needed to speak to him, and clarify that he didn't want, or need, a girlfriend, since apparently he had Neji Hyuuga to pacify himself. He just needed a reason to see the Hokage... oh yeah, maybe he wanted a mission. Did he? No. Would it work? For sure.

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

Chouji was being as inconspicuous as possible, one hand stuffed in a chip bag and the other nervously picking at the piece of paper he had to request a mission. The meeting was commencing right in front of him, no one paying much attention to him. Probably because he wouldn't leak any information.

Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Neji Hyuuga and Shikamaru were all standing in a semi-circle around the Godaime's desk, Kakashi closest to the side of her desk. Next was Sasuke, then Neji, Shikamaru, and finally Naruto. They all appeared to be very engaged in the meeting... but Chouji knew his best friend. The fidgeting of his fingers and the slight tapping of his foot proved his impatience to get on with it.

Actually, it wasn't just his fingers moving...

Chouji's eyes widened as Shikamaru's fingers inched closer to the Hyuuga beside him while Kakashi was having his own conversation with Tsunade. Naruto was making kissy faces at Sasuke, who looked frustrated despite the soft pink flush on his porcelain cheeks. In other words, no one was paying attention. Except for Chouji, of course.

Shikamaru's hand kept moving closer and closer to the unsuspecting Neji, who seemed to be genuinely attentive to whatever Tsunade and Kakashi were saying. At least he was until the Nara finally pressed his hand fully on the Hyuuga's ass, giving the fabric-covered muscle a firm squeeze before letting his hand hang innocently by his side once again.

Neji gave no reaction, as stoic and 'engaged' as he appeared to be.

After the meeting was over, the Nara looked very pleased with himself. And when they thought no one was looking, even though Chouji /was/, he slapped Shikamaru on the chest, hard, with fury in his opal eyes when they finally entered the 'vacant' hallway.

"/Not/ while I'm working," he spat, anger flaring and Byakugan threatening to activate. "I've told you that quite a few times, you invalid."

/Quite a few times? How long as this been going on for?/ Chouji wondered, watching as Shikamaru snickered, encircling Neji in his arms. However, the Hyuuga freed himself by jabbing a sharp knee into the Nara's crotch.

"/Not/ while I'm at work," he hissed for the second time. "Now get back to work, you lazy cloud-watcher."

"I'm taking that as a compliment!" Shikamaru called after him, shoving his hands deep into the throes of his pockets. "Have fun on your mission!"

"Go shove it up your ass," snapped Neji, his mahogany hair swinging as he made his way to the door. A brow arched, the Nara leaning against the wall, a cigarette dangling loosely between his fingers.

"I shove it up /your/ ass, actually," corrected Shikamaru, laughing out loud at the loud slam of the door he recieved in retaliation.

Chouji blinked. Well okay then, this seemed more complicated than he'd originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please leave kudos and drop a comment if you enjoyed it!!


	3. Sealed With Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry this one's pretty long bc I'm a sucker for Narusasu... haha... ha...

Sasuke wasn't stupid. He'd been hearing the rumors. Currently, he was standing outside his window, watching with an arched brow as Rock Lee ran around Konoha in the middle of the night on his hands, screaming, 'YOSH! Neji-kun has finally found love! How glorious, how wonderful, the powers of youth have graced him again!', over and over like a song on loop.

He knew he probably looked very strange, peeking through the curtains as a spandex wearing ninja graced Konoha with his antics, while Sasuke himself looked completely mortified. The Uchiha pressed his fingertips lightly to his temples, shaking his head a little, feeling silken black hair brush against his cheeks.

/Kami, some people are so /stupid//

"What're you lookin' at?" A chaste press of lips against his ear snapped Sasuke back into where he was at the moment, in his bedroom, with Naruto apparently fresh out of the shower, judging from the water clinging to his sun-kissed skin. The Jinjuriki's arms looped around his waist, the blonde head settling against the crook of Sasuke's neck with a soft tickle of sunshine hair.

"Just Lee," the Uchiha muttered, his brows still furrowed in slight disgust. The soft snicker against his neck cooled his skin slightly as Naruto moved a hand down, slowly massaging his hip. "Completely understandable," he teased. "That boy has no filter."

"Yeah, you two have a lot in common."

"What?!" squawked Naruto, obviously laying it on thick. "Shut up, teme!"

"Hn. Can't, dobe."

Sighing dramatically, the 'future-hokage' kissed Sasuke's pulsepoint, relishing in the slight shiver he recieved. "I can't believe it, bastard," he moaned. "I call you pretty every single day, and this is how you reward me? By being a bastard?"

"It is in my namesake, don't be so surprised."

"Teme."

"Precisely."

Sasuke turned around so he was facing Naruto, the strong arms still wrapped tightly around his waist as he laid his head on the chest before him. Warmth seeped through Naruto's bare skin, satisfying Sasuke's perpetually cold cheek. He could totally fall asleep here, his Uzumaki would carry him to bed.

"Maa, you make it up by being cute."

"For the love, Naruto, I am /not/—"

"Yeah you are." More kisses were speckled all over his neck and chest, Naruto raising his head afterwards with a wide smile on his face and a fond look. He traced an invisible path from Sasuke's jawline to the corner of his eyebrow with the callused pad of his thumb, then leaned forward and swept a kiss between the center of his brows. He snickered at Sasuke's drowsy glare. "Bedtime, okay? We have a mission tomorrow."

"I know, usuratonkachi. Don't need to remind me." Even with the snappish words, Sasuke was already foregoing all movement, pressing his cheek further into Naruto's chest. Even though he wasn't trying to be sweet, he still reminded the blond of a dozy, drowsy kitten.

"Ooh, testy. That's hot."

"Naru—!" His words were bitten off when Naruto dropped slightly and placed a single hand beneath Sasuke's knees, easily sweeping him up against his body.

"Aww, I'm even holding you bridal style! You're so—" Naruto's loud declaration was cut off by a sharp jab to his pec and an arctic glare. "...Nevermind." The Jinjuriki lowered Sasuke to the mattress, gently stripping off his uniform and tossing him one of Naruto's shirts.

Once the Uchiha was settled, the blond laid down himself and pulled Sasuke close to him, draping a gentle arm around his waist and kissing his neck. "Mm, love you, Sas."

"Shut it." A long pause simmered between them, before Sasuke whispered into the dark, "Love you too."

He was rewarded a nuzzle to the nape of his neck and another kiss.

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

The scent of bacon teased Naruto awake the next morning, even though it was still dark. In other words, way to early to be awake.

/Stupid mission./

Sasuke's side of the bed was empty, but still slightly warm, and as much as Naruto wanted to snuggle into the heat he left behind, he had to get up.

Walking into the kitchen, he was greeted (and quite pleasantly, if he did say so himself) with the sight of Sasuke, still dressed in the Naruto's shirt. He was quite obviously wearing nothing else since the shirt hung down to mid thigh on him, and if he moved enough, Naruto could see the swell of his cheeks below the hem of the shirt.

Naruto caught a glimpse of his side profile when Sasuke turned to grab an egg from the bowl beside him, and he smiled at his lover's long, thick black lashes that practically brushed his cheekbones when he blinked, his tiny, sharp little nose and the sweet curve of his lips.

"Hey baby," he crooned, wrapping Sasuke up in his arms like a present he couldn't wait to unwrap. "I can't believe you say you aren't cute. You're a-fucking-dorable."

"Get /off/. Unless you want me to burn your breakfast, and we're already tight this month."

"Hm, yeah you are."

"Tight on MONEY, idiot." Sasuke jabbed another elbow into him.

The Uzumaki snickered; he didn't need that kidney anyway. He peppered the Uchiha's neck with tiny kisses and continued to cling to him as they moved across the kitchen, occasionally tracing his fingers up and down Sasuke's slender hands when they weren't doing anything.

"Are you making pancakes too?" he murmured.

"That depends entirely on you," Sasuke answered, for once not slapping him when he reached out for a grape. The Uchiha always went all out for breakfasts before missions. He'd once confided in Naruto in the middle of the night that his mother had done that for Itachi, 'to keep his energy up', and he'd adopted the habit himself.

Apparently, Naruto was good enough, because pancakes were steaming on the griddle about five minutes later.

"Aww, you love me sooooo much," he cooed, dramatically swaying back and forth, coercing Sasuke to move with him. "So precious, so sweet, my little Sasu—"

"So help me, Naruto Uzumaki, I am going to castrate you and shove it back up your ass."

"Yeah, you're pretty experienced in that department."

That little comment gained him a harsh slap across his sternum, but he caught the slender wrists in one hand and lavished Sasuke in kisses, hot, wet, messy ones that had the Uchiha before him panting softly and writhing against him.

"The food's gonna—mmm... burn... usuratonkachi."

"Yeah, I can live with that," Naruto assured him, dipping the fingers of his free hand beneath the hem of the shirt. /Oh yeah, not wearing a damn thing under it.../

"Ooh, this is my lucky day, babe," he smirked, giving the ass a good, thourough groping, grinning against Sasuke's lips the whole time. The ivory skin was satin-soft beneath his hand, and if neither of them had been told to go on a mission, Naruto would have had his hand on that ass the whole day.

/Oh yeah, the mission... oops.../ Eh, like he cared, Sasuke was his mission now. However, unfortunately, the goal of his personal endeavor, which included swollen lips and at least two hickeys, was cut short.

"Wait," Sasuke gasped, suddenly yanking away. Naruto tried to chase his mouth, but the Uchiha was adamant on looking around for something unknown to the Uzumaki. "There's somebody over by the—"

"Oh, right you are, Sasuke."

A yelp escaped Naruto's throat, causing him to accidently squeeze the firm muscle in his hands a bit too harshly, which drew an embarrassed shudder from Sasuke.

Kakashi Hatake was crouching outside their open window, a patronizing smile on his face. His chin was placed innocently on his elbow, which rested on one of his knees, his signature book held open in the other.

"Why, Sasuke, you're kind of underdressed for a mission, don't you think?" Kakashi asked cheerfully, smiling with his eyes. "You'd think you'd at least have your headband on, though I'm sure you could fight commando if you wanted."

"Oi, what the hell is wrong with you!?" demanded Naruto snappishly, yanking the hem of his shirt further down on Sasuke's behind. "Go swoon over Iruka or somthin', don't stare at Sasuke, pervert!"

"I was just observing," their former Sensei answered, waving a hand. "Mind if I come in? Breakfast looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. Except for that black lump on your griddle, Sasuke. What happened there?"

The Uchiha let out an undignified groaning noise into Naruto's chest as an answer. Kakashi snickered. "Finish eating guys. You know when we're meeting."

"Then why did you come check on us?!" snapped Sasuke, lifting his head for a second. Naruto had to smile; Sasuke's cheeks were flushed bright pink in his embarrassment, his lips kiss-bitten and swollen, hair all messy since he hadn't brushed it yet. The Uchiha quickly tucked his head back into Naruto's shoulder though, shyness returning.

"I was just making sure you were getting ready and not doing... whatever that was."

"Just /leave/," pleaded Sasuke. "Alright, alright," Kakashi chuckled, standing and tucking his book back into his pocket. "Remember the time, you guys. You have twenty minutes." He tossed a saucy smirk over his shoulder. "No time for a quickie."

Then he was gone, Sasuke heaving out a breath of relief into Naruto's chest. "Oh /Kami/," he groaned. Naruto, having some semblance of empathy for his love, slowly wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "Sorry, Sasu," he said gently, running the fingertips of one hand up and down Sasuke's back. "But he's our Sensei, babe... you know he's seen it before."

/Even though he's never seen me... groping... it.../

"'M g'na k'll 'oo."

"Love you too."

"Die."

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

Neji, Shikamaru and Kakashi were already waiting by the time Naruto and Sasuke finally showed up, 46 seconds late, according to the Hyuuga. Iruka was there too, smiling cheerfully when he saw them arriving.

Sasuke was hoping, for the love and life of Naruto, that Kakashi hadn't told /any/ of them the going-ons that had occured when he burst through their window and spied on them. Actually, the Uchiha still wasn't talking to the usuratonkachi, since /he/ was the one who was supposed to shut the windows that night, /and/ he was the reason they had to buy a new griddle after the burned-black pancake batter hadn't been able to be scraped off.

"Are we ready?" Kakashi asked, smiling when Sasuke scowled and glared away from him.

"Seems like it!" Naruto answered, ever shameless. He dropped a gentle hand to the Uchiha's shoulder, squeezing softly. "It's all good, Sas," he whispered. "Sensei's old, he proabably already forgot!"

That statement was quickly proved wrong when Kakashi smirked at him, gesturing with a flick of his fingers to the hickey reddening Sasuke's neck.

Iruka waved bye to everyone and hugged Naruto before he turned to Kakashi, an expectant look on his face. The Jounin leaned down and kissed Iruka briefly, then waved at everyone to follow him out of the village.

"Alright everyone, we already know the objective," he mentioned as they began to walk, adjusting the heavy packs on their shoulders. "It should be fairly difficult, as it's in Amegakure, but we have costumes so it should be manageable to look like civilians. Sasuke, just try not to go pissing people off, okay? Shikamaru, don't be lazy, Neji, don't be a smartass, and Naruto... please, pay attention. This could be done in less than five days if you just /pay attention/ and /don't/ get side-tracked. Understood?"

Four echoes of 'hai' followed the words, and Kakashi nodded. "Good. Let's get going then." Then he leapt into the trees.

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

"I am /not/ wearing that," snarled Neji, glaring at the outfit Kakashi had handed him. The skimpy fabric of his 'costume' would barely cover his private area, but his hips would be out and his chest would practically be a free-for-all. Sasuke nodded his agreement, practically turning his Sharingan to the clothes in his pack.

"Yeah, Sensei, I kinda think so too... that's basically a string," Naruto said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Don't really want S'ke walkin' around in that, ya know? It looks kinda... um..."

"Slutty," spat the Uchiha. "I'm not a bitch, Kakashi, what the hell?"

"It's your costume, Sasuke," soothed Kakashi, trying to reign the furious Uchiha back in. "It's not a big deal. Besides, Naruto would probably murder anyone who even looked twice."

The Uzumaki nodded sagely, giving the nape of Sasuke's a firm rub. "Don't worry babe. Nobody's lookin' at that ass but me."

Neji rolled his eyes. "I did not need to hear that, Naruto," he grumbled. "But what are you planning to do when /I/ begin to get molested, Kakashi? I am /not/ a prostitute."

"Uh... you can fend for yourself?"

"Troublesome," grunted Shikamaru. The shadow-nin was leaning lazily against a tree, legs crossed, puffs of smoke pluming from his cigarette. "But it's not like I don't agree. That's a thong, Kakashi. It'll probably be raining. That thing might just... fall right off him, and I'm sure you don't want to risk that."

"Thank you, Shikamaru."

"I agree, Sasuke doesn't need to be wearing—"

The dog-nin held up his hands, eyes winter-cold and glass-sharp. "Alright, we've been having this conversation for an hour, and you four are seriously testing my extremely generous patience. Go get changed, /now/. Neji, Sasuke, you two are our distraction, you're supposed—"

"This isn't a seduction mission!" interrupted Naruto. "Neither of them need to look like sluts!" Sasuke and Neji nodded, even Shikmaru muttered, "Agreed," under his breath.

"They're just going to get information," Kakashi gritted out. "They guy who knows where the scroll is happens to be gay, and a pedophile at that. I understand you don't want them wearing that, but all they're gonna have to do is shake their asses and we get what we want. You can kill him afterwards, for all I care. /Just hurry up/. We're losing time, now go get changed."

Naruto's eyes narrowed.

Shikamaru crushed his cigarette.

"Hai."

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

The bar was thick with smoke and sticky with the sweat of bodies rolling against each other, alchohol and regret fogging the room in a grimy haze.

An old man with wrinkles deeper than the valleys of Suna and hair whiter than winter was resting his damp, clammy hand on Sasuke's thigh, slowly rubbing little circles. He had the other on Neji's hip, moving it closer and closer to his crotch with each passing circle he did on Sasuke's leg. The Hyuuga was a damn good actor, his little smile sexy and lustful, so Sasuke hoped he didn't look /too/ disgusted.

As much as the Uchiha wanted to tear the guy's eyes out and make him eat them, he knew that all he and Neji had to do was drag the guy into the back room where Naruto, Shikamaru, and Kakashi were waiting.

Speaking of Naruto...

The blonde was talking in his ear, his voice firm in the earpeice, yet it had an underlying tone of gentle concern.

"I swear, Sas, the second he comes in here, the first thing we're gonna do is tear his hands off him. You doin' okay? Yeah, dumb question, you're always okay. But when we get rid of him and find the scroll, I'm gonna kiss everywhere he touched and then some! Don't worry, he's about to ask you guys to go in the backroom, I'm sure of it! His eyes are kinda flickering. EWW HE'S MOLESTING NEJI."

Sure enough, the ancient man's hand was massaging all over Neji's crotch, his foot rubbing up and down his calf. Neji was still smiling, and wow, Sasuke would have forgotten all self control and slammed the guy into the wall.

And then the guy squeezed Sasuke's private area, causing Naruto to completely lose it in his earpiece.

"PUNCH HIM! SASUKE UCHIHA YOU SHARINGAN HIS ASS RIGHT NOW!"

Neji to the rescue.

The Hyuuga slowly slid his slender hand up and down the man's arm, purring softly in his ear. "Let's go to the back, yeah? We can bring my friend with us..." Neji gestured to Sasuke with a tilt of his head, the Hyuuga's hair brushing against the target's... okay, Sasuke wasn't going to think about that.

"Sure thing, gorgeous," he slurred.

He practically hauled the both of them through the sweat-scented bar, dragging them into the back room, where Sasuke immediately yanked his wrist free and Neji slapped the man across the face.

"What are you—?"

His sputtering was cut short when a fist was slammed into his face, Shikamaru's eyes furious, which was incredibly strange for the normally laid-back shadow-nin.

The fight was stupid easy. Sure, the target used to be a ninja, but now he was old and crepid; his only use was feeling up pretty boys and drinking alchohol. The fact that he had been the only one who knew where the scroll was kind of confused Sasuke.

The only damage he was even barely able to do was graze his sleeve against Neji's forehead, smearing the swipe of concealer that they had used to hide his curse mark.

Neji rolled his eyes and slammed his fist easily into the man's diaphram, then watched with a smirk as the man convulsed and hacked into the floor before he was tied up by Kakashi.

The questioning was stupid simle. The guy told them exactly where the scroll was with a single flare of the Sharingan, sobbing out his innocence with a pleading tone and damp eyes.

At least until he saw Neji's forehead.

His features twisted into a disgusted sneer, lips pulling away from his yellow teeth in a snarl.

"You're a Hyuuga," he taunted, as if the Byakugan hadn't been obvious enough. "And you're branded. Lower than most, no? Disgusting business, that is. Not that those who recieve it aren't worse than the seal itself..."

Neji's opal eyes narrowed to diamond slits, his fist clenching at his side, fingers twitching slightly. Even though his fury seemed perpetulant, Sasuke couldn't help but note the blackened prick of hurt that appeared to glow deep in Neji's eyes. And honestly, who could blame him?

He was branded for life, by no fault of his own. To be ridiculed for something a child could do nothing about was ridiculous and immature, and honestly, Sasuke could have murdered the man. For more reasons than one.

His anger must have been contagious, because the next second Shikamaru had put another fist to the target's face, this time knocking him out.

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

Sasuke couldn't sleep. The bedroll seemed too hot, and Naruto's warmth behind him and the arm belted around his waist certainly wasn't helping. Kakashi was passed out a few feet away, silver hair tickling his nose. Neji's blankets were rumpled and empty, as he was the one taking watch. The spot beside him was vacant too. Sasuke arched a brow, finding it strange that Shikamaru's bedroll was just as empty as Neji's...

He sat up silently, shoving Naruto's arm unceremoniously off of him.

His eyes promptly widened.

Shikamaru and Neji were sitting by the fire, facing each other, brows touching. The shadow-nin was gripping Neji's hands, both their eyes closed. The Hyuuga's hitai-ate was neatly laid beside them.

The Nara leaned forward and lifted his head slightly, placing an open-mouthed kiss to Neji's forehead, which he sealed with a chaste press of his lips.

"It's part of you," he said softly, then Sasuke couldn't hear the rest of his sentence.

He stared for a few more moments, the shock of the image burning into his mind before Naruto grumbled and yanked him back down. Sasuke was still reeling.

/Well okay then. Guess I found out who Neji's love is./

Naruto snuffled into his neck.


	4. Jealous much?

"Lee."

"Yes, Gaara-kun?"

"Please tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing."

"I'm afraid I cannot lie to you, Gaara-kun."

"Damn it."

Gaara had never once in his life desired to see Sasuke Uchiha wearing a lingere-leotard, even if he was wearing Naruto's uniform jacket over it. Gaara was still scarred. The thing was basically a pretty lacy string with a few rhinestones glued on, but the worst part by /far/ was that Neji, Lee's best friend and most trusted rival, was wearing the same exact thing. The Hyuuga had Shikamaru's jacket draped over his shoulders, though he had zipped it up halfway so he didn't look as... promiscuous as Sasuke.

The Kazekage was /not/ having it.

Lee wasn't either.

He slammed his palm over Gaara's eyes, his own wide with shock. "Sasuke! Why are you—"

"Because NARUTO put our other clothes in a tree, and a RACOON ate them!" the Uchiha exploded, the Sharingan blazing firey red, and unfortunately directed to the rather nervous looking Uzumaki. The blond flapped his hands around like a derranged bird, feigning innocence.

"Sas, I told you, it was an accident!"

This seemed to get Neji's attention. "Accident?! Those uniforms are expensive, and you put them in a TREE! When will you learn to /take care/ of your things!"

"Hey!"

"And now—!"

"I look—"

"Ridiculous!"

They shouted the last word at the same, the Hyuuga and Uchiha agreeing for quite possibly the first time in their entire lives.

For his part, Naruto really did look quite guilty, even though Kakashi was standing behind him with a smirk hidden behind his Icha Icha book. He was leaning calmly against the gates, looking quite like he would enjoy a fight to break out.

Shikamaru, however, appeared genuinely pissed off, quite a jump in his usual lazy, smart-ass persona. He wasn't even smoking a cigarette, his arms were just crossed tightly across his chest, lips twisted in a frustrated scowl.

That confused Gaara. The Nara usually looked pretty friendly, half asleep as he normally was, and ready to chug all the coffee in the break-room, not ready to snap at someone if they tried to talk to him.

"Sasuke, for heaven's sake zip that jacket up, you look like you're /trying/ to be slutty," accused Neji suddenly, breaking Gaara out of his stupor and causing the only blond in the vicinity to let out a loud squawk.

"He's not!" Naruto snapped. "Maybe my jacket's too small for him!"

That earned him a scoff.

"You do realize that he's almost drowing in it, right?" Shikamaru remarked, his tone a little more bitter than usual. He certainly wasn't wrong, the Uchiha's shoulders were a tad more slender than the Uzumaki's, so the thick fabric was slightly loose and bunching around his hips.

With that comment, Sasuke gave a little snort and rolled his eyes. "The dobe broke the damn zipper. Kinda like Shikamaru's got stuck halfway up."

"Classic Naruto."

"Shut up, Gaara!"

"My apologies."

He tensed when a voice errupted behind him, slightly predatory and a tinge excited. "Ooh, Sir Kazekage, fancy seein' you here."

Gaara turned with a roll of his eyes, slightly exasperated at his brother's tone. "Afternoon, Kankuro," he grumbled. "How can I help—"

"I was just noticing some of your friends'... uh... outfits..." he leered, pupils blown at the silky lace and rhinestone's curling around the pale skin of both Sasuke and Neji's bodies. "Lookin' awfully pretty there, even if you aren't girls."

Shikamaru's brow arched, and Kakashi slowly placed his book in his pocket.

"Joke's on you!" Naruto guffawed, a strangely possessive glint in his eyes as he hooked an arm around Sasuke's waist. "Sasuke's /always/ pretty." His tone was light, but his eyes spelled death for anyone who tried to touch his man.

"Mmhmm, it's an Uchiha thing," agreed said Uchiha, tucking his head under Naruto's chin. Probably trying to hide his exposure, Gaara figured. Unfortunately, his beloved brother didn't seem to take the hint.

"Yeah, but hot damn, lookin' sexy, Uchiha. Still hate you though. It's not you, it's the bitchy attitude, and the hair. Neji though, I'd fuck that." With that, Kankuro reached out, wrapping his fingers around one of the straps connecting Neji's one piece. He pulled his hand back and then released the fabric, laughing when the pale skin reddened immediately under the harsh snap and the sharp noise it made when it reconnected with Neji's body.

Naruto's mouth dropped open, Sasuke yanking himself away from him with narrowed eyes. "Excuse me?" he snarled. Kakashi raised both his eyebrows, while Lee looked purely scandalized.

"Kankuro-san!" he gasped. "Why must you speak of Neji-kun like this! I'm sure he feels—"

"Objectified?"

Everyone's heads snapped up at the snarl that escpaed Shikamaru's throat. The shadow-nin, usually so calm, was radiating murderous intent, cinder eyes ashen with unchecked and burning anger. His scalding gaze was imbedded into the hand that had grazed Neji's skin.

To put it simply, if Shikamaru hadn't lost his weapons when Naruto had lost all theirs in the tree, Kankuro would be castrated and quite possibly fatally injured at this second. Not that Gaara could blame him.

Unfortunately, the Kazekage's brother was an idiot, and his I.Q. seemed to be dropping by the second.

He inched a hand towards the surprisingly silent Hyuuga, slowly twisting a long spiral (they had curled Neji's hair for the mission) of mocha tresses around a thick finger. Or, at least he tried to.

A certain spiky-haired, intense-eyed ninja had his wrist clenched in his hand, grip iron hard and his glare glacial, stopping his movements before his fingers could even skim Neji's hair.

Shikamaru gritted his teeth, his jaw clenched tightly, muscle bunching beneath his skin.

"I don't think Hyuuga-san would like you touching him, but maybe we should ask. Neji?"

Gaara raised an eyebrow. /Mm, Shikamaru-san doesn't sound very happy... I wonder if he's the 'youthful target of Neji's adoration' Lee was talking about.../

The white-eyed man scoffed, pulling Shikamaru's jacket tighter around his exposed frame. "Break his wrist, for all I care." Despite his harsh tone, there was something strange about the way Neji was holding himself, almost seeming like he was trying to drown in Shikamaru's jacket which he was already swimming in. Almost as if he had been self-concious with the hungry stare Kankuro had pinned him with.

"Gladly," grunted the shadow-nin, his fingers tightening the grip on the wrist in his hold.

Thankfully, Kakashi saved Kankuro from his upcoming demise.

"Woah, woah, come on now," he soothed, attempting to pull the peace back in. "Let's all take a deep breath, practice some meditating, maybe look at some clouds, probably take a shot..."

"He was—"

"Now, Shikamaru, he was wrong, but you can't go around breaking shinobi's wrists. Neji's clearly fine, Sasuke hasn't murdered anyone, Naruto, please don't give him a hickey in public, and you just need to go be lazy and cool down for an hour or two, alright? Everyone okay?"

"I am wonderful, Sensei! What a genius way to calm everyone down!" Lee cheered, pumping an optimistic fist in the air. "Don't you agree, Gaara-kun?" Gaara shrugged. "Sure." He didn't really have a preferance, just as long as Kankuro wasn't molesting Neji.

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

Everything was sorted out five minutes later, so Gaara and Lee could finally get to Ichiraku. First though, the Kazekage wanted to take a bit of a detour.

He followed Shikamaru for a bit, being discreet as he could possibly be. He'd told Lee to go order then bring it to his apartment, then they could eat there. The spandex-wearing ninja was eager to comply.

He ended up at the shadow-nin's favorite cloud-gazing spot, beneath a thick-trunked tree that was fluffy with dark green leaves. Neji was already there, dressed properly in his robes, hitai-ate properly in place. His long hair was draped over one shoulder, fingers picking at the silky fabric of his clothing. He didn't smile when he saw the shadow-nin, just raised a challenging eyebrow.

Gaara watched with a smirk as Shikamaru wasted no time yanking Neji into his lap, gently lifting the headband and skimming his hands all over every place Kankuro had touched. He kissed the seal several times, tiny pecks that soon evolved into full kisses, mapping out every dip and curve of the symbol stamped on his skin.

"Why didn't you stop Kankuro?" he murmured, pressing his lips softly against Neji's temple then grazing his mouth lightly across his jaw before moving down to suck on his neck.

"Mmm," was the Hyuuga's reply, his eyes closed, head tossed back. He slowly lifted his arms, resting his elbow's on Shikamaru's shoulders and letting his wrists hand limp. "I wanted to know what you would do if someone tried to do... whatever he did."

"Sexual assault?" Shikamaru snickered, causing Neji to roll his eyes. "Not quite on that level, Nara."

"Yeah, well, that's what I'm calling it." Then he stuffed his face back into Neji's neck, giving a harsh suck and a tiny bite, probably creating quite the mark on the ivory skin before him.

The Kazekage left them to their private moment.

/Mm, I suppose Lee was right.../


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's gonna be kinda short, I'm sorry to say. Only one chapter left!

"K-Kiba!" Hinata gasped, her black hair curtaining around them in a thick black sheet as Kiba pressed her against the surface before them, his lips attatched firmly to her neck, teeth nibbling slightly.

"Mm, quiet for one sec, 'Nata. Nobody's here..." He gave a harsh suck, her soft skin heating up under his mouth. He could already feel the mark blooming on her pretty porcelain neck, and he smirked at the flush that warmed his cheek, which was pressed against the column of her throat.

"What if someone comes around," she insisted, a soft gasp hissing from her mouth as he sucked harder.

"Only your dad or Neji would care," was his firm reply. Placing his hands on her supple hips, he pressed her further against the wooden slats of the vendor car before them.

"Mm, K-Kiba..."

"Yeah, I know," he snickered, sinching his teeth to elicit another gasp from Hinata. Maybe it was in his animalistic traits, but damn he loved marking her up. Pulling back, he scrutinized a patch of un-hikeyed skin for a second, before diving back in and pressing his tongue against her.

"Ah! Kiba, ohh, K-Kiba, w-wait!"

"Nah, we ain't got that much time..."

"Someone's coming!" she insisted, sounding firm, yet ensnaring her fingers in his uniform. "Yeah, I know," he murmured. "Smells like Neji."

A single beat thumped past, before both of their eyes widened.

"Shit," hissed Kiba, running a hand through his messy hair, straightening his jacket, trying to tug his shirt down and conceal the bulge in his pants. Hinata was nervously attempting to place her hair so it was draped over the freshly blooming hickeys marring her throat, adjusting her skirt so it wasn't hitched as low as Kiba had pulled it to.

"Ah, Neji-nisan... wait...?"

It was not, in fact, Neji who had just walked around the corner.

Instead, Shikamaru Nara walked around the bend, one hand tucked deeply in his pocket, a smug look on his face.

/What in the hell...?/

"Shikamaru-san!" gasped Hinata, looking ruffled and scared, her fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of her jacket. "We um... we thought—"

"Dude, you /reek/," Kiba interrupted, eyes narrowed. He leaned in, inhaling deeply, nose twitching. "You smell like Neji and..." /Like you either fucked somebody or got fucked by somebody.../

The Nara remained impassive, an eyebrow arching. "Do I?"

"Uh... yeah. I think even somebody with a normal nose could smell that!" Kiba snapped. "You seriously smell like you rolled around in his shampoo or something! What'd you do, hug him for six hours strait?!"

"Uh... I might have bumped into him at the market?" Shikamaru muttered, his voice tinged with a question, his scent singed with guilt. "I was just there..."

"Nah, don't even try it," Kiba waved off. "I wouldn't be surprised if you guys were making out or something." A startled squeak next to him made Shikamaru arch a brow, and Kiba could practically /hear/ Hinata's blush. "Kiba," she whispered. "Neji-nisan doesn't, um..."

It was Shikamaru's turn to look skeptical. "Please don't say he doesn't swing that way," he deadpanned, and he probably couldn't have looked more bored if he tried. "His hair's down to his ass, plus it's always shiny, he uses lotion, he puts chapstick on in public, and he definitely uses mascara." He paused. "I think he moisturizes too."

Hinata's cheeks reddened.

Kiba's eyes narrowed.

"How do you know if Neji uses mascara?" he questioned, leaning in further, his nose only a hair away from Shikamaru's, trying to get him to yeild. Unfortunately, the Nara just rolled his eyes.

"His lashes are always really thick, sometimes clumpy. Hinata, that's not possible /without/ mascara, is it?"

"Ah, maybe for an Uchiha, possibly for—"

"Hold it!" Kiba interrupted. "Why the hell were you standing close enough to Neji to know that his /eyelashes/ clump together?"

Kiba yelped, Hinata jumped, and Shikamaru turned sharply when they heard the low drawl from behind them.

"Better yet," snarled Neji, "Why the /hell/ are you discussing my eyelashes?"

Hinata burried her glowing face in her hands, a soft groan escaping her. Kiba snorted into his fist.

"No reason," the Nara shrugged. "But come here anyway."

He reached out sharply, gripping Neji by his hips and yanking him close to his body. Slowly, he ran the tips of his fingers over Neji's eyelashes, his own eyes narrowing, calculating. "Defiitely mascara," he announced after a second, though he still held onto the Hyuuga.

Pressing his lips slowly against Neji's cheek, Shikamaru pulled back with a firm nod. "Definitely moisturizer."

He ran his hands up and down the backs of an open-mouthed Neji's hands. "Most certainly lotion."

The Nara carded his fingers through the Hyuuga's thick dark hair, causing mouths to drop open when he smacked the ass when he reached the end of the locks. "Very shiny."

Then he pressed his lips to Neji's, long and slow. He moved his mouth for a few long seconds, then pulled away. "Cherry chapstick," he announced. "Very classy, Hyuuga."

Neji slapped his chest. "Pervert," he growled.

Kiba heard Hinata collapse next to him, and he was too shocked to even try to catch her.

/Uh... well okay then.../

Shikamaru's smirk was the smuggest Kiba'd ever seen it, and the Inuzuka didn't think he'd ever seen Neji blush before this moment.

But his face was bright red.

/Damn.../


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished!!! Thank you so much for sticking with me for my first fanfiction ever!!! If you'd like an epilogue, I'm not adverse to writing one, but you'll have to tell me.
> 
> Thank you for spending your time!!!
> 
> Much love,  
> Scarlette890

"You stupid /idiot/," Neji hissed, his hands slapping into Shikamaru's flak jacket with a stinging smack the second they were out of the alleyway. "You're not supposed to tell anyone yet!"

The Nara just shrugged. "Eh, they're pretty dense anyway. Kiba probably thinks I was being a pervert or something." Neji's diamond eyes narrowed. "Because you /were/," he snapped. "You kissed me in front of my cousin."

"Yeah, I grabbed your ass too."

"I was there."

"I dunno why you're mad at me, Kiba was making out with your cousin." Shikamaru popped a cigarette into his mouth, flicking the flame to the tip before shoving the lighter back into his pocket. He took a deep drag, then blew the plume of smoke into Neji's face.

Coughing loudly, the Hyuuga pulled away, lips twisted into a frustrated frown. "/Stop/ doing that," he muttered, swiping a hand across his face. "It stings."

"Mm, wouldn't wanna mess up your 'moisturizer', now would we," Shikamaru grinned. He knew Neji's routine like the back of his hand, he often set out his face products (in order, he might add) every morning before Neji went in to work. So he also knew that the Hyuuga applied a good layer of moisurizer, right before he packed on the mascara and smoothed chapstick into his lips.

Neji always tasted like cherries and vanilla before he left for work. He reached out, tugging the Hyuuga in by the waist, settling the shorter's cheek against the flat of his chest. He breathed deep, inhaling the warm, sweet scent of Neji's hair.

"Let's go home," he murmured into his ear. "Okay?'

"Agreed," was the answer he recieved. "I have a mission early tomorrow, and I have a few things I'd like to get done before I must leave."

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

They settled into bed easily, Neji's naked, sweaty back pressed snugly against Shikamaru's chest. The smothering blankets were mussed and balled up at the foot of the bed, both of them too hot to wrap themselves up in them.

"Love you," Shikamaru whispered into his ear, giving the shell a quick kiss.

"Mm, love you too," Neji murmured, his voice already thick and drowsy with sleep. "I'll see you in a week."

"Looking forward to it."

OOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOO

The second Shikamaru had heard Neji was in the hopsital, he had dropped the report in his hands and, foregoing his lazy persona, made a beeline to find him.

"Here for Neji Hyuuga," he gasped, out of breath, to the lady at the front desk. A soft clack of fingernails against keys, a scroll of the mouse and a flash of the screen snapped across his vision.

"Room 208," she'd answered, watching as he raced to the elevator, slamming his hand down on the 'up' button as fast as he could, desperate to get to his Hyuuga.

Neji's room was flooded with people, Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, Gaara, Lee, Kakashi, Iruka and plenty of others, all with a strange upturn to their lips. Flowers were crammed on the bedside table, cards with clumps of glitter propped up against the vases.

Neji himself was leaning against the flat hopsital pillows, his eyes dozy and sleepy, looking kind of blurry. A drowsy smile was perking his lips up, his long dark hair braided and thrown in a thick plait over his shoulder.

"Shika..." he slurred happily, lifting his arms with a hopeful glint in his eyes. Ino snickered next to Shikamaru, pressing her fingers to the plump curve of her bottom lip. "He's pretty drugged up," she warned. "Sakura gave him the good stuff. Poisoned kunai to the hip, apparently."

The Nara smirked a little. /Ah, karma/

"Hey, Nej," he said softly, ignoring the snickering people clustered around him as he moved closer to the dark-haired male plastered across the sheets. He moved closer, placing a hand on the Hyuuga's head. "How are you?"

"Did you get my ring?"

Shikamaru paled, ignoring Naruto as he stuffed his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck to stifle his laughter. "Your what?"

"My ring. 'Member? You said you liked it and you wanted to put a ring on it, so you put a pretty, shiny—"

"I was there," he interrupted quickly, pressing his palm to Neji's mouth, hoping to stop him from saying something he'd regret in the very near, very lucid future. He recieved a wet, sloppy lick to his hand, an act so unbearably uncharacteristic for the Hyuuga to do that it shocked him into silence.

However, Chouji, his best friend, his beloved teammate and fellow ninja, burst out laughing. And everyone followed, buckling under the weight of their cackling, leaning into whoever was closest in a desperate attempt to quell their laughter.

"Shika," the Akimichi gasped. "He's been babbling about a ring for at least an hour now. You can't really hide it now, huh?"

"I saw you making out in the woods!" Ino crowed, clapping her hands together, cerulean eyes sparkling with mischief. Sasuke gave a soft hum. "I saw you kiss his seal."

"I had to watch you grope him," Chouji groaned, face burried in his palms. "Why do you have to touch his... um..."

"Ass," supplied Naruto, a hand now draped languidly across Sasuke waist, his chin hooked over his shoulder.

"Yeah, /that/ so often!?"

Shikamaru's mouth was hung open like a hinge. "Uh..."

"You did seem awfully protective when Kankuro touched him innapropriately," Gaara mentioned, head cocked slightly to the side. Kankuro, who was standing by the window, gave a little huff and rolled his eyes, leaning further against the glass pane.

"And that's why you always smell like him!" crowed Kiba, animalistic eyes practically glowing, thriving in Shikamaru's mortification and Neji's sleepy smile. "You've been /banging/ the Hyuuga!"

Yeah, he was and damn, he was proud.

"I have," he agreed, slinking onto the bed. Neji plopped his head down on his shoulder. "And Kankuro, if you /ever/ touch him again..." the kind note in his voice trailed off into a bitter, possessive bite. "I swear I'll pound you to dust."

"Mm," Neji agreed. "And I have a question... why were you all spying on us?"

Immediately, the room errupted into a scramble to explain, how they weren't meaning to, how they just happened upon them, and one bold 'Because you were being losers and standing right in the open' from Sasuke.

Kakashi smiled, glancing down at Iruka. The Jounin had tucked a hand in the teacher's back pocket, holding him close to his body.

"Maa, Iruka, these students could take a good reminder of what you always teach your rising Genin first, no?"

"They could," snorted the Chuunin, folding his arms across his chest. "You'd think they'd remember."

"Remember what, Sensei?" Naruto asked, tipping his head innocently to the side, bright blue eyes still sparkling slightly with the fun he found in teasing his friends. Iruka snorted, and Kakashi bent to kiss his temple as he answered,

"Honestly you people, how do you always forget? If you go /looking/ for trouble, you're sure to find it."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> This is the first fanfiction I've ever written (And finished), so criticism and feedback is definitely desired. If you think I should continue down the writing path, let me know, and if I should quit, mention that too, if you don't mind. Anyway, thank you for your time, I really appreciate it!!  
> Much love, Scarlette890


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